Tuesday's Attention #80

The Stillness of the Middle

May 13, 2025

Guest Writer:

Today, our lovely guest writer is my beloved, Kenny. After my graduation on Saturday, Kenny shared with me that he had a Tuesday’s Attention in mind, that he’d like to write, based on words heard at graduation that connected to what he has been thinking about lately. I was delighted, of course! He shared that he wasn’t sure if he would write it, but that he shared with me all he had been thinking about. These moments are my favorite. I love getting to know more of what is on Kenny’s mind and heart.

I hope you enjoy being invited into a bit of what he has been pondering in his words that follow. Happy Tuesday, friends. May the day ahead be kind to you.

The Stillness of the Middle

As I write this, I am currently locked out of our house. I have been locked out for the last three hours. Instead of going anywhere to kill time or kicking dirt, I chuckled and texted Bailey, “I might not have a key to the house lol.” There’s something in my soul that just easily finds contentment. But here I am going into hour four of being stuck on the porch. Home is only a few feet away.

“I’ll give everyone a charge… more of a suggestion really. ‘Come home to yourselves.’” These words echoed around the church hosting Bailey’s graduation last week. A room full of future counselors and ministers on the verge of moving their tassels over to the left side of their head. Counselors who had spent the last year meeting one-on-one with powerful stories and courageous humans on their healing journey. “Come home to yourselves.” As the speaker continued with his words of encouragement towards his classmates, the air in the room shifted. The future counselors in the room were not the only ones listening. Everyone was.

The moment felt still. These words resonated with the yearning that we all have in our hearts. “How can I balance what I love versus what I need to do? Is that even possible?” Sometimes we feel the furthest from ourselves, even when we feel like we’ve reached the finish line. For these students, diplomas in hand, graduation was finally here. Graduation, or any major life event, marks a change in what was and what will be. Our thoughts jump between the questions of “who I was” to “who will I be?” It’s only natural. But these words beckoned everyone to pause. Pause in the now.

Earlier in the program, the President of Richmont reminded everyone that “graduation marks a beginning, middle, and end.” A beginning of the future. The end of your hard work. The middle of your lifelong journey. Yet, it seems that people often overlook the important journey that takes place in the “middle.” We tend to look at the bookends we place on ourselves: our starting point and our ultimate goal. We know the baseline and why we want to pursue the goal. We know what steps to take and we have plenty of back-ups and safety nets. We know the joy and relief we will feel once we get to the destination. And unfortunately, we might overlook the steps we took to get to the end and move on to the next endeavor.

My charge to you: fall in love with the “middle.” Pause in the now. Take a second before you take that next step. “Come home to yourself” and sit with your thoughts and feelings. All of them. There is beauty in the middle and recognizing what you were and what you will be. Check in with yourself. Let the birds serenade you. Admire the colors of the sky as the sun rises. Pick up your guitar again and play a tune… It’s been a while(speaking from personal experience, on this one). Slowly sip your coffee and don’t worry about it going cold. It’s probably going to get cold anyway, so why not cherish every sip as the steam curves around your face?

As we take moments to reflect and pause, continue to make space for yourself in the day-to-day. Even if you haven’t reached your destination, you are well on your way. Please adore and enjoy the moments that make our lives more rich even if they don’t necessarily push us forward to our dreams. Celebrate the stillness of the middle; it’s the constant of the human experience. And as I tell my students, “let’s try to have fun while doing it.”

Words That Are Leading Me Into Attention

Last month, I had a chance to watch one of my favorite bands again, half ·alive, with Bailey while in Brooklyn. I’m not much of a dancer. Half·alive… they’re the antithesis of me. Watch the music video for “Sophie’s House” or “Still Feel” for a good time.

It’s their lyrics, their ability to pay attention to human nature, and their poetry that bring me back to their music. And yes, their choreography fascinates me too. After leaving the Brooklyn Paramount Theatre, there is one song that has stuck with me since. Not only because it’s groovy but because this song has come to mind when I have caught up with friends over the last month. Conversation about life updates. Conversations on the past. Conversations about what’s next. Conversions on the “beginning, middle, and end.” That song is “Arrow.”

“Slow it down, release control. Slow and steady, let me know.
The hardest place to be, Is right where you are.
In the space between, The finish and the start.”

As I approach the age of 30 this year, these words come to me as a reminder of continually slowing down. Finding rest. Letting go. Falling in love and paying more attention to my current surroundings. Yet, my heart loves to race when presented with the uncertainty that the future holds. And for me, it’s usually nothing specific. It’s almost never about what I need to get done in one year… five years… twenty years. It’s the ambiguity that the “FUTURE” holds. It’s fascinating and daunting. My brain wants to keep up planning for all of the hypotheticals so slowing down doesn’t seem like an option when there is so much to choose from. What could happen? What will happen?

“Run fast and I'll end up exhausted
Out of breath, thinkin' where I went wrong
This heart is afraid to beat slowly
Miss a chance at what I could become
I know that I can't run forever
But I can't stand still for too long
This heart is afraid to beat slowly.”

I don’t think I’ve ever been caught up in the “hustle culture” of the early adulthood years. I am thankful for that. I find it so easy to find contentment with any situation thrown my way. I am able to improvise when a student does something uncalled for. I can think methodically and objectively when someone comes to me in a crisis. I can even sit on the porch for hours waiting for Bailey to get home with the house key. Yet, my heart is still afraid to beat slowly. Afraid to lose sight of opportunities because I might be “too flexible.” Afraid of being stuck and missing who I could become because I might be “too content.”

My heart is afraid to beat “too” slowly.

Yet, I still need to come home to myself. I need to take the suggestion to heart to keep pursuing my own self-discovery. Keep tilling the garden beds of my soul and making space. Admiring the blooms and knowing that the hardest place to be doesn’t have to be where I am right now, “the middle.” It can be the most beautiful.

Whether your heart and mind might be racing extremely fast or, maybe like me, at a slower pace, continue to discover who you are. Continue to fuel the moment you are in now.

Prompts/Questions:

Find a small piece of paper… maybe 8” x 11”. Draw what “home” looks like to you right now. What brings you peace and contentment in this time.

Plan yourself a time where you can get back to an old hobby. Make it intentional. Enjoy the moment. Slow down and let your mind wander.

Journal about surrender. What can you surrender that is not letting you come home to yourself? What is making you doubt that you can?

Tuesday's Attention

Tuesday's Attention #80

The Stillness of the Middle

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