Below are some of the poems I wrote this past week/weekend while I was away in the mountains. There is a cohesive theme threaded between all three; so much of this weekend was reflecting on the resiliency of my body.
I hope some of these words meet you in your own process(es) and relationships with your body, your grief, and your healing.
Poems:
From Time Among the Pines, In the Mountains’ Company
I.
The last time
I enjoyed the
Mountains’ company
Alone
I held a wad of my hair
While I looked at more
Strands lying
At my feet.
I starred at the foggy
Mirror long enough
For my eyes to meet
My own scarred face,
With red, swollen eyes
Starring back at me
Oh,
The vulnerability
Of facing
Your own Grief.
I let the towel
Wrap tightly around
My fragile,
Naked vessel
Of a body.
I proceeded
To silently
Weep;
I may as well
Have screamed.
Then,
I poured some wine,
Found my way
To the hot tub outside,
With the company
of the book
Wisdom of the Body.
I let the tears
Become one
With the water
Holding me.
….
This time around,
My hair is short
But not falling
At my feet.
I cut it monthly
Out of
My own autonomy;
I’ve never felt more like me.
The acne
Has faded.
I cup my face
In my hands,
Taking in the softness;
What relief.
Thank you, Accutane
But,
no thank you.
The moon face
Swelling
Left when
Prednisone ceased
To exist
In my fragile,
Resilient being
Of a body.
What stories
She has to
Tell!
This time around,
There was
No hot tub
No wine
No tears
trickling
Down
My face
Only the wisdom
Of my body
Knowing it was time
Again
To be among the mountains
And the trees
In solitude,
Rest,
In Peace.
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