Words Written in the Mountains' Company

Three poems from my retreat

Below are some of the poems I wrote this past week/weekend while I was away in the mountains. There is a cohesive theme threaded between all three; so much of this weekend was reflecting on the resiliency of my body.

I hope some of these words meet you in your own process(es) and relationships with your body, your grief, and your healing.

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Poems: 

From Time Among the Pines, In the Mountains’ Company

I. 

The last time 

I enjoyed the 

Mountains’ company 

Alone 

I held a wad of my hair 

While I looked at more 

Strands lying

At my feet. 

I starred at the foggy 

Mirror long enough 

For my eyes to meet 

My own scarred face, 

With red, swollen eyes 

Starring back at me 

Oh,

The vulnerability 

Of facing

Your own Grief.

I let the towel 

Wrap tightly around 

My fragile, 

Naked vessel 

Of a body.

I proceeded 

To silently 

Weep; 

I may as well 

Have screamed. 

Then, 

I poured some wine, 

Found my way

To the hot tub outside, 

With the company

 of the book

Wisdom of the Body.

I let the tears

Become one

With the water

Holding me.

…. 

This time around, 

My hair is short

But not falling 

At my feet. 

I cut it monthly 

Out of

My own autonomy;

I’ve never felt more like me.

The acne 

Has faded.

 

I cup my face 

In my hands, 

Taking in the softness; 

What relief. 

Thank you, Accutane 

But, 

no thank you. 

The moon face 

Swelling 

Left when 

Prednisone ceased 

To exist 

In my fragile, 

Resilient being 

Of a body. 

What stories 

She has to 

Tell!

This time around, 

There was 

No hot tub

No wine

No tears 

trickling 

Down

My face

Only the wisdom 

Of my body 

Knowing it was time 

Again 

To be among the mountains 

And the trees 

In solitude, 

Rest, 

In Peace.